Why do it if you can't afford it?

So, I think the title says it all! :)
Sounds like a harsh question, huh? But the reality is that many people are thinking this regarding our adoption fundraising. Some people have actually asked the question to us! Which, may I add, is not offending at all. In fact, it gives us the opportunity to explain a few things. So... here we go! :)

1) It's hard to think that adopting children that need happy, loving families should be limited to people of financial wealth. Why shouldn't a teacher and a photographer that believe in their hearts that their future children are coming to them through adoption be held back simply because they aren't sitting on an extra $20k to $35k?

The reality is that there is a strong percentage of adopting families that do fundraising in order to help out. It is not at all uncommon. In fact, we've run into several other families that have shared their fundraising stories and ideas. We've sympathized with each others' struggles, and shared in our victories. There are so many children in the US and across our planet that are looking for loving homes that it would be a total and complete shame to tell a willing and loving family that they can't adopt because they a) don't have the money and/or b) fundraising is illegal! (Off with their heads!!) :)

2) Yes, $20k to $35k is a lot of money, and almost all employers don't provide any coverage to offset those fees. If you were to compare the costs of child birth with that of adopting you would see that they are quite close. The difference is that your insurance coverage covers most of the costs of giving birth, but none of the adoption fees. Crazy? Maybe.. Maybe not. But it is the truth. :)

3) (side note: this one is full of the personal stuff we HATE talking about, but is necessary for the point.. blah!) For our particular situation, we've already paid over $10K out of pocket to fees related to adopting from Ethiopia. Those are funds that we are never getting back, so yeah, that kinda sucks and puts us in a bind. But, we march on!

4) We've looked into a variety of grants (okay.. Chelsey has looked into a variety of grants), but there are a ton of restrictions/fine print items that don't really apply to us.

• We are not adopting a child/children with special needs. 
• We are working with a private attorney and not with an agency (that's a kicker!). 
• We've already started our own fundraising. To list a few.

Alright. I hope that paints a better picture of what we are trying to do. We're really not asking a lot. Not even half of what we will ultimately put toward the adoption when you factor in all of the attorney fees, travel, lodging, clothes, furniture, diapers, and college (ok, went too far with that one, ha!). 

So, to sum it all up! How can you help? We've got only 357 puzzle pieces to go @ $20 a pop! :) I'll be posting a picture of the progress thus far. It's taking me a while to get all the names on the pieces and put them in place! Having fun with it though! 

And I also wanted to put a direct message out to all of MY peeps.. Hey! I'm feeling like a lame ass over here! Chelsey and her friends have made up over 85% of all donations!! I'm represented by all of two people other than my immediate family (Thanks Mommy, Daddy, Katie, and Kara! :: and my BB-you know who you are!). I'm looking for a little love from at least my Sigma Chi Brothers out there (excluding my CO bro and his fam)!! Hello? I may not have been around much lately... I live in Alaska! 

Thanks again for following our story. Your love and support means so much to us!

Sincerely-

Ken, Chelsey, PK, MG, and The Twins!

Just a simple question

Well, I'm sure you're all waiting for an update! It's been a few weeks since we've shared our amazing news with all of you, and in that time we've been extremely busy! We've had to start getting a nursery ready! There's this sudden need for a vehicle that can help transport a family of 6! Not to mention the end of the school year, a busy photo season, and the normal crazy that is our family :) Each day goes by in a flash, and we get closer and closer to holding our twins. We couldn't be more excited!

Also making it exciting, is the constant flood of questions about our story, how it all worked, and what can be done to help us out! We are always more than excited to answer all of these questions, and most of you know that if you get Chels or I in a conversation about all of this, we'll talk your ear off! :)

But for today, the main question that we'd love to answer is "how can we help you guys?" This is the hardest question for us, because neither Chelsey or I like being in the position of needing help. So, to cut to it, we are starting our fundraising efforts again. Here are a few ways you can help!

1) Back in December we held a huge auction that exceeded our expectations, and we were overwhelmed with the items that were offered to us for donation and the amounts we received. We do have a few items that have trickled in over the last couple of months, and we are looking for more! If you have any items that you would like to offer for an auction, please feel free to e-mail me at kjmachfam@gmail.com!

2) We introduced our Puzzle fundraiser back in January, click here. To sum up, for every $20 donation that comes in we are placing a puzzle piece with the name of the donor into a 500 piece puzzle! The completed puzzle will be framed and hang in the Twins' room. We are 377 pieces away from our goal! Please consider a donation to help us out.

So, I'm sure you're wondering what the funds will be used for. All of the funds will be used to help with legal fees associated with the adoption, and/or travel for Chelsey, the babies, and I. Each and every dollar would help us out a ton, and your help will be remembered for a lifetime... or two!

Thanks for taking the time to read this, and pass this on! We can't believe how soon our babies will be with us!

Ken, Chelsey, PK, MG, and the Twins!

Catch-up time!

It's hard to believe so much can happen in two months! It's been two months since our last post (a few of you have kindly been reminding me of that) about the long crazy ride that we've been on. We discussed the pause we were taking with our agency, and we hinted at exploring other options. Since that time, so much has happened! So many paths were presented to us, and with love and faith we decided to turn away from international adoption. It was a terribly difficult decision. For over a year, our hearts were in Ethiopia, dreaming and waiting for a child. Our absence from the blog world was, in large part, related to the pain felt by changing paths. Our hearts were broken in many ways.

But with the hurt, we always knew the "Plan" was in full affect, and whatever was supposed to happen was going to. We looked into working with an agency in Utah, and gladly took a recommendation for an adoption attorney out of California to proceed with the possibility of a domestic adoption. We started by  working with the agency in Utah, and through the agency we were presented to 3 birth mothers. Each chose a different family, and with heavy hearts we trudged on. Then in mid-April Chelsey and I decided that we would try to work with Mr. D. Durand Cook out of Culver City, California (the attorney mentioned above). The reason? Simply his demeanor. His confidence. His kindness and sincerity. But honestly, we have to credit our friend that had worked with him to adopt her daughter. She praised him up and down and all around! Our hearts directed us, and we went full steam ahead!

We filed all necessary paperwork to proceed with Mr. Cook a week before Matayah's birthday (aka Tax Day). His office contacted us to let us know that we should hear from them some time in the next 6 months regarding a possible match. So, naturally, when our phone rang less than 3 weeks later (or last week, 4/27) we had no idea it would be Mr. Cook calling us about a potential birth mother match! We learned that she was expecting twins and that she was VERY close to her due date, so we had to move fast! We took all of the next day e-mailing, and texting back and forth with each other to discuss what we thought, and then by Friday, April 29 with our minds made up we booked our flight to Cali to meet everyone involved! You can only imagine how our heads were spinning! (And at this point, our parents and sisters were the only ones in the know.. okay, maybe my principal was clued in. I was going to be taking some time off of work!)

We left Fairbanks Tuesday morning and made it to our hotel room by 6:30 p.m. that night. We were exhausted, but jittery with nerves and excitement! Our meeting with the attorney and the birthmother was set for 11 a.m. the next day. We stayed up talking, eating Chinese, and watching cable tv! It was a great night.

When the alarm went off Wednesday morning, it was impossible for the smiles to come off our faces. We raced around getting ready. I had already used the GPS we were borrowing from Chelsey's sister Brittany and her boyfriend Joe to set our course to stop at a Starbucks and then onto the attorney's office! We left the hotel at 10:15 to make it to Starbucks where we sat outside enjoying the weather and smiling back and forth. We were both so nervous, but happy. We were both in a state of amazement that we were even in California! When I truly stopped to try to grasp it all, it was too overwhelming! So, I quickly learned to just enjoy the ride and appreciate each moment through the process.

At 10:45 we left Starbucks for the quick drive to Mr. Cook's office! Of course, even with the GPS, I drove past his office! But we enjoyed driving around the wonderful little neighborhood behind the office while we looped back. We finally pulled into the parking lot, and joked about parking our little rental next to all of the Mercedes! It was quite a sight! :)

From there, we held hands. Checked our breath. Discussed whether we should bring in our Starbucks. I got a reminder about some nose hairs (sorry if that's TMI.. remember I teach middle school so my boundaries are off!) and then we were entering the building! We were greeted almost immediately, and escorted back to Mr. Cook's office. We sat there looking around while we waited for him to come chat with us. There were multiple collages of baby faces, pictures, and Thank You cards all over the place. Everything just made us happy inside.

After waiting a short while, Mr. Cook walked in sporting a Bermuda shirt and a big smile! He quickly and calmly prepped us for our big meeting. He explained that she and her friend knew nothing about us, so she has no preconcieved beliefs as to who we are. We were told she would talk first and answer three questions that he had already prepped her for, and then it would be our turn to talk about us. He looked across the table and said, "Are you guys ready?" We said, "Yes." And we left his office and walked to the board room.

From there, things couldn't have gone any better. Chelsey and the birthmother (C) hugged right away. We sat and listened to each other. We all asked questions. There was laughing. Plenty of side conversations, smiles, and tears. After 45 wonderful minutes, Mr. Cook stopped us, and explained that he would like for us to take a break to have time to chat (Chelsey & I, and the birthmother with her friend). We walked back to Mr. Cook's office and immediately knew that we were ready and happy to continue. In our minds, we had found a match, so now it was up to C to decide if she would like to spend more time with us. Chelsey and I sat further admiring all of the great pictures in his office, and the nice tissue (we were, still are, fighting colds).

Mr. Cook walked back in and asked how we felt things were going. We were clear that we couldn't be happier! He said he was happy to hear that, and that C had a few more questions for us. He lead us back to the board room where C stood up and said how she would be honored if we would be the parents of her twin boys! As you can imagine, it was hugs all around with tears of happiness mixed in!

The four of us spent the rest of the day together. We went to lunch, to Santa Monica Beach, and then to dinner. We talked about so much. We did a lot of laughing, and getting to know each other. It felt at times as if we were old friends. The day couldn't have gone any better, and none of us really wanted to leave at the end of the day, but exhaustion left us no choice.



We drove home that night, stayed up that night, and flew back home talking about all that had just happened. That we are going to be the parents of fraternal twin boys! That they're due June 26th, but of course, twins come early!  Which means that we are seriously weeks away from traveling to be there when they are born, and to bring them home! That PK and MG are going to be so excited! And that life can be so amazing!

Well.. there it is. That's the story. Kind of crazy, huh? But through it all, you guys have always been there. Some of you silently supporting and praying for us. Some of you have been very active participants. And to each of you, we really want to say, "Thank You." For all of your kind thoughts, prayers, and everything else that has helped us get here. We seriously couldn't have done any of this without your love.

Thank you forever-

Ken, Chelsey, PK, MG, and the Twins!

Every Road has It's Thorn

Do you remember as a kid taking a long road trip with your family? Sitting in the car. Trying to keep yourself occupied with coloring, Gameboy, or maybe just sleeping. Knowing after what felt like forever, that you were still nowhere near the final destination. And, in the back of your mind you could sense that your Dad/Mom/Driver was also not quite sure when in the world you would get there. Do you remember what you wanted to ask? The words raced through your mind over and over, but you were well aware that by asking a huge whirlwind of crazy emotions would stream through out the car that would include both of your parents and any siblings. That in asking, the entire trip would be pushed to the brink of insanity with the possibility that the trip would now actually take longer!!

Hold onto that memory for a second. The frustration.. the restlessness... the uncertainty.... Yeah.. all of that is where Chels and I are right now on our path to add to our family through adoption. Each start of a new day is the turn of a corner with the hope our final destination awaits. Needless to say, things have been really hard.. crazy hard... borderline exhaustingly hard!!

Okay. Now that you have that picture let's talk news. Over the last month or two, the overall perception of international adoption within Ethiopia has changed. It is beginning to appear as though international adoptions out of Ethiopia are coming to a near standstill, with very little movement through the courts.  Now, this is simply our interpretation of the news coming from a variety of adoption sources. However, it is becoming quite obvious to us the the adoption climate has changed negatively, and that we truly anticipate a very, very long road ahead.

We relationship with our adoption agency is currently on hold while we consider all of our options from this point out. This hold was the agency's doing.. not ours. But we are taking this as an opportunity to gain strength, and keep our hearts focused on our baby coming to us this year.

So, we're keeping the car moving along this long road trip. And hope beyond hope that you all stay along for the ride. We've appreciated your company and support more than you know! And to help pass the time.. I'm thinking of a word that begins with the letter... B! Yes or No questions only! :)

***
I'm going to leave space above for daddy ;) to chat about whatever he'd like to talk about. In the meantime, I'm tellin' it like it is! I don't know what he's going to share - something brilliant I am sure. So I'll leave that to him ... on a sidenote, I cannot believe we haven't blogged since February 19th! I really have no idea how that happened. Well, I guess I do. Life has just been going full speed ahead. I think, thinking back, we thought surely in 2-3 weeks we would have more to blog about, more to say. Surely. And yet, it's one of those situations where a lot is going on, but yet nothing is happening - does that even make sense? (I feel like all the moms I know are nodding right now.)

I got a call tonight from my alma mater, a Sophomore currently attending - probably doing the same work-school program I did. Anyway, I found myself talking about majors (she asked) and how really, school should not just prepare you to work in "your field" (we all know why that's in quotes - ha!) but also for life in general, because really, truthfully so many of us don't end up "working" in the field (major) in which we studied & graduated. (I know! Cover your ears! I didn't just say that! ;) ) And while I was talking I found myself trailing off (in my head) because it's a theme within adoption that comes up a lot. The common phrase or saying seems to be,

there's no straight line to adoption.

That one little line says so much. And couldn't be more true. There's no straight path to a lot of things. Rarely do we start out where we end up where we are going. Which is usually a good thing because really, wouldn't all of our lives be a little boring ... a little predictable ... if we had all the answers all the time. If we were the ones in charge of every move on the board game. If we knew that we could throw a "rock" every time & beat every 'paper, scissors, rock' opponent in our path. (Which of course isn't true because a rock doesn't win every time - but seriously, you get the point.) Don't you think there would be things that would be missing? I just don't think life is meant to be lived that way. As one of my friends so wisely said,

Great to just open our hearts & minds & follow the path as it unfolds in front of us.

I couldn't agree more.

Maybe you'll open your hearts with us. I can't tell you where this road is headed or what to expect along the way, but I can tell you we are coming at it with an open mind & an open heart and only hope you'll do the same.

The Journey

For the last two years, Chelsey has picked a word to be our "theme." This year our word is Journey. The dictionary definition of the word is "an act of traveling from one place to another." I'm beginning to realize that this definition is just not sufficient enough. You see, for me, a journey encompasses so much more. I believe that since we decided to add to our family through adoption, we have been on a journey. We have seen twists and turns. We have crossed other paths and have kept going. We encountered fallen trees, tall mountains, ... well you get the idea! 


So, while we have been going from one place to another, there has been so much more involved. Journeys are supposed to be challenging. We are supposed to learn things. We are supposed to grow stronger spiritually, physically, and emotionally. And while doing all of that, we have to be willing to change direction. To take some steps back, and then dive into the unknown. Journeys are so much more than a trip form here to there. They are a growing experience, and for this journey we have been on, we have gained and grown so much. 


Now, while we have loved this journey for all of the ways it has made us stronger, we are more than ready to reach our intended destination (adding a new member to our family). But, alas, sometimes just being ready doesn't mean that it is going to happen. Maybe the "higher powers that be" have more lessons and growing moments for us along the way. Whatever lays in the path ahead, we will meet it head on, and be ready for any changes in direction that may be necessary. Because we will have our baby this year, and our journey to adopt will enter into the next stage. 


I hope you all are enjoying the growing and learning you all are experiencing on your family/personal journeys in life. We will all get through it together having grown stronger in many ways. 


Thanks again for following our story, and for all of the continued support along the way! 

Slow Moving, But Still on Track!

Well, we are almost halfway through February. I know, I can't believe it either! And I wanted to let you all know that things are very slow moving right now. We are still sitting at #44. Which sounds way better than where we started at 59, but it just feels like we have been sitting here to long. Getting that numb butt feeling.. you know?!

But even with all of this waiting, we couldn't be happier to have chosen to adopt from Ethiopia. When we started looking at countries from which to adopt, one of the reasons we were drawn to Ethiopia was because the Government maintained a positive oversight on the adoption process. This holds true today. Both the US Government and the Ethiopian Government have been discussing ways to make the adoption process even more secure and streamlined. Now, we can speculate that this may have caused the slow down in referrals, but our agency maintains that it is very typical for there to be "droughts" of referrals through-out the year. At this point, the family that is currently been on the list the longest (11 months) is a family waiting for a daughter under the age of three.

We currently are sitting in our 5th month on the list, and WACAP estimates referrals to be between 8 to 10 months. So.. only 3 to 5 months of waiting to go!! We'll have to keep ourselves pre-occupied... thank goodness we're getting more day-light!!

So.. that's it for now. Thank you to all of our friends and family that have sent notes of encouragement, and to the many of you that have donated money to help with travel. I have to update the puzzle and get a picture. Some wonderful friends from the CO and one in SLC have recently contributed, so they need to be honored in the puzzle!

Thanks for taking the time to keep up with our adventure!

Highlight of the Week

This week was rough. Ruff, rough & ruuuufff. Not one thing in particular, just lots of little things (like cars behind you spinning out of control on the freeway - yes, true story!). But there was a major highlight to this week for all of us, getting to have a family dinner date with this wonderful crew! It was so cathartic to talk family, adoption, life, motherhood, childhood & more with them. They are patiently awaiting the 3rd child/5th member of their family as well. And funny enough, their oldest is a little bit younger than our oldest, with their "soon-to-be middle" child already 3 (a few months older than our soon-to-be middlest). They are *super* close. We are very excited for them & can't wait to hear the impending good news.

Aaaand we got to talk about our mutual blogging friend Anne. (Yes, you Anne! ;) haha) Who posted this hilarious (because it's true!) photo today

totally had me cracking up. Laughter is the best medicine ;) you can click on that link to read more about her journey & what she's up to.



Sometimes it's the littlest things, isn't it :)
Glad we're on this journey with you guys!

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Totally unrelated to this particular post, I've been getting a lot of questions lately (about the adoption process, about how a referral works, etc.) ... so if you have any to add or want to me blog some Q&A, just leave your comments/questions/thoughts in the comment box below.

Happy Friday!