A simple phone call

I guess I didn't know what the hardest part about going through an adoption was going to be. I was prepared for the paperwork. Although, it was still more than I expected, and I can't believe it's only THIS month that we are finally (please God!) done with things on our end! I knew it was going to take a long time. I didn't know how much time, but I knew there was going to be a lot of time waiting. I also knew that financially this was going to be tricky. So, I was ready for all of that. But I wasn't ready for this feeling I have about the waiting. I wasn't ready for the long moments of emptiness during the waiting, and how hard that would be. I didn't know about that feeling. I don't like it. And I'm the dad and husband in this situation!  Who knows how hard this part is on the Mrs!?

You're probably wondering what it is I'm referring to. Let me see if I can explain this. The other day I called my parents just to chat. The conversation shifted from this to that, and then my mom said,"Hey, it just occurred to me that I'm beginning to realize you and Chels were expecting to have your baby in December. That must be really hard for you guys. My heart is really aching for you both." (Maybe not an exact quote, but it's very close.) The words hit me so hard. I remember thinking it would be so cool for this to happen in December back when we started this process in February of last year. Then as we got further into the paperwork and things changed in Ethiopia, each month that hope became less and less possible. Suddenly, I didn't know what to think. It seemed like the day where we get to bring our baby home was getting further away! Which, as you can image, is the opposite of what I wanted to be feeling. This is where the emptiness began to set in. As the time length grew, the amount of excitement dwindled. Blog posting died down. People stopped asking questions.

It's that emptiness that is the hardest part. I sit here each day knowing that my third child is out there, and I want to jump through the ceiling with excitement. But, I don't know when that is going to be. The silver lining from all of this... people still do ask. Or, my mom comes out and sympathizes with us. Or, a friend sends a note and a donation. So, the point of all of this. If you feel like you have a question, or you just want to chat about what we are going through, please call or shoot an e-mail. It helps us build that excitement through this time of "emptiness." I know that I need it... And I'm sure the Mrs. does too!

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Oh and PS!
We are at number 44 on the list.. and did you notice our Donation Tracker! $4406! As a math guy, I thought that was a neat coincidence! :) Just $38 more for a $4444!