Every Road has It's Thorn

Do you remember as a kid taking a long road trip with your family? Sitting in the car. Trying to keep yourself occupied with coloring, Gameboy, or maybe just sleeping. Knowing after what felt like forever, that you were still nowhere near the final destination. And, in the back of your mind you could sense that your Dad/Mom/Driver was also not quite sure when in the world you would get there. Do you remember what you wanted to ask? The words raced through your mind over and over, but you were well aware that by asking a huge whirlwind of crazy emotions would stream through out the car that would include both of your parents and any siblings. That in asking, the entire trip would be pushed to the brink of insanity with the possibility that the trip would now actually take longer!!

Hold onto that memory for a second. The frustration.. the restlessness... the uncertainty.... Yeah.. all of that is where Chels and I are right now on our path to add to our family through adoption. Each start of a new day is the turn of a corner with the hope our final destination awaits. Needless to say, things have been really hard.. crazy hard... borderline exhaustingly hard!!

Okay. Now that you have that picture let's talk news. Over the last month or two, the overall perception of international adoption within Ethiopia has changed. It is beginning to appear as though international adoptions out of Ethiopia are coming to a near standstill, with very little movement through the courts.  Now, this is simply our interpretation of the news coming from a variety of adoption sources. However, it is becoming quite obvious to us the the adoption climate has changed negatively, and that we truly anticipate a very, very long road ahead.

We relationship with our adoption agency is currently on hold while we consider all of our options from this point out. This hold was the agency's doing.. not ours. But we are taking this as an opportunity to gain strength, and keep our hearts focused on our baby coming to us this year.

So, we're keeping the car moving along this long road trip. And hope beyond hope that you all stay along for the ride. We've appreciated your company and support more than you know! And to help pass the time.. I'm thinking of a word that begins with the letter... B! Yes or No questions only! :)

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I'm going to leave space above for daddy ;) to chat about whatever he'd like to talk about. In the meantime, I'm tellin' it like it is! I don't know what he's going to share - something brilliant I am sure. So I'll leave that to him ... on a sidenote, I cannot believe we haven't blogged since February 19th! I really have no idea how that happened. Well, I guess I do. Life has just been going full speed ahead. I think, thinking back, we thought surely in 2-3 weeks we would have more to blog about, more to say. Surely. And yet, it's one of those situations where a lot is going on, but yet nothing is happening - does that even make sense? (I feel like all the moms I know are nodding right now.)

I got a call tonight from my alma mater, a Sophomore currently attending - probably doing the same work-school program I did. Anyway, I found myself talking about majors (she asked) and how really, school should not just prepare you to work in "your field" (we all know why that's in quotes - ha!) but also for life in general, because really, truthfully so many of us don't end up "working" in the field (major) in which we studied & graduated. (I know! Cover your ears! I didn't just say that! ;) ) And while I was talking I found myself trailing off (in my head) because it's a theme within adoption that comes up a lot. The common phrase or saying seems to be,

there's no straight line to adoption.

That one little line says so much. And couldn't be more true. There's no straight path to a lot of things. Rarely do we start out where we end up where we are going. Which is usually a good thing because really, wouldn't all of our lives be a little boring ... a little predictable ... if we had all the answers all the time. If we were the ones in charge of every move on the board game. If we knew that we could throw a "rock" every time & beat every 'paper, scissors, rock' opponent in our path. (Which of course isn't true because a rock doesn't win every time - but seriously, you get the point.) Don't you think there would be things that would be missing? I just don't think life is meant to be lived that way. As one of my friends so wisely said,

Great to just open our hearts & minds & follow the path as it unfolds in front of us.

I couldn't agree more.

Maybe you'll open your hearts with us. I can't tell you where this road is headed or what to expect along the way, but I can tell you we are coming at it with an open mind & an open heart and only hope you'll do the same.

The Journey

For the last two years, Chelsey has picked a word to be our "theme." This year our word is Journey. The dictionary definition of the word is "an act of traveling from one place to another." I'm beginning to realize that this definition is just not sufficient enough. You see, for me, a journey encompasses so much more. I believe that since we decided to add to our family through adoption, we have been on a journey. We have seen twists and turns. We have crossed other paths and have kept going. We encountered fallen trees, tall mountains, ... well you get the idea! 


So, while we have been going from one place to another, there has been so much more involved. Journeys are supposed to be challenging. We are supposed to learn things. We are supposed to grow stronger spiritually, physically, and emotionally. And while doing all of that, we have to be willing to change direction. To take some steps back, and then dive into the unknown. Journeys are so much more than a trip form here to there. They are a growing experience, and for this journey we have been on, we have gained and grown so much. 


Now, while we have loved this journey for all of the ways it has made us stronger, we are more than ready to reach our intended destination (adding a new member to our family). But, alas, sometimes just being ready doesn't mean that it is going to happen. Maybe the "higher powers that be" have more lessons and growing moments for us along the way. Whatever lays in the path ahead, we will meet it head on, and be ready for any changes in direction that may be necessary. Because we will have our baby this year, and our journey to adopt will enter into the next stage. 


I hope you all are enjoying the growing and learning you all are experiencing on your family/personal journeys in life. We will all get through it together having grown stronger in many ways. 


Thanks again for following our story, and for all of the continued support along the way! 

Slow Moving, But Still on Track!

Well, we are almost halfway through February. I know, I can't believe it either! And I wanted to let you all know that things are very slow moving right now. We are still sitting at #44. Which sounds way better than where we started at 59, but it just feels like we have been sitting here to long. Getting that numb butt feeling.. you know?!

But even with all of this waiting, we couldn't be happier to have chosen to adopt from Ethiopia. When we started looking at countries from which to adopt, one of the reasons we were drawn to Ethiopia was because the Government maintained a positive oversight on the adoption process. This holds true today. Both the US Government and the Ethiopian Government have been discussing ways to make the adoption process even more secure and streamlined. Now, we can speculate that this may have caused the slow down in referrals, but our agency maintains that it is very typical for there to be "droughts" of referrals through-out the year. At this point, the family that is currently been on the list the longest (11 months) is a family waiting for a daughter under the age of three.

We currently are sitting in our 5th month on the list, and WACAP estimates referrals to be between 8 to 10 months. So.. only 3 to 5 months of waiting to go!! We'll have to keep ourselves pre-occupied... thank goodness we're getting more day-light!!

So.. that's it for now. Thank you to all of our friends and family that have sent notes of encouragement, and to the many of you that have donated money to help with travel. I have to update the puzzle and get a picture. Some wonderful friends from the CO and one in SLC have recently contributed, so they need to be honored in the puzzle!

Thanks for taking the time to keep up with our adventure!

Highlight of the Week

This week was rough. Ruff, rough & ruuuufff. Not one thing in particular, just lots of little things (like cars behind you spinning out of control on the freeway - yes, true story!). But there was a major highlight to this week for all of us, getting to have a family dinner date with this wonderful crew! It was so cathartic to talk family, adoption, life, motherhood, childhood & more with them. They are patiently awaiting the 3rd child/5th member of their family as well. And funny enough, their oldest is a little bit younger than our oldest, with their "soon-to-be middle" child already 3 (a few months older than our soon-to-be middlest). They are *super* close. We are very excited for them & can't wait to hear the impending good news.

Aaaand we got to talk about our mutual blogging friend Anne. (Yes, you Anne! ;) haha) Who posted this hilarious (because it's true!) photo today

totally had me cracking up. Laughter is the best medicine ;) you can click on that link to read more about her journey & what she's up to.



Sometimes it's the littlest things, isn't it :)
Glad we're on this journey with you guys!

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Totally unrelated to this particular post, I've been getting a lot of questions lately (about the adoption process, about how a referral works, etc.) ... so if you have any to add or want to me blog some Q&A, just leave your comments/questions/thoughts in the comment box below.

Happy Friday!

A Sprinkle.

Ummmm how cute is this? A Sprinkle.

I love it.

A simple phone call

I guess I didn't know what the hardest part about going through an adoption was going to be. I was prepared for the paperwork. Although, it was still more than I expected, and I can't believe it's only THIS month that we are finally (please God!) done with things on our end! I knew it was going to take a long time. I didn't know how much time, but I knew there was going to be a lot of time waiting. I also knew that financially this was going to be tricky. So, I was ready for all of that. But I wasn't ready for this feeling I have about the waiting. I wasn't ready for the long moments of emptiness during the waiting, and how hard that would be. I didn't know about that feeling. I don't like it. And I'm the dad and husband in this situation!  Who knows how hard this part is on the Mrs!?

You're probably wondering what it is I'm referring to. Let me see if I can explain this. The other day I called my parents just to chat. The conversation shifted from this to that, and then my mom said,"Hey, it just occurred to me that I'm beginning to realize you and Chels were expecting to have your baby in December. That must be really hard for you guys. My heart is really aching for you both." (Maybe not an exact quote, but it's very close.) The words hit me so hard. I remember thinking it would be so cool for this to happen in December back when we started this process in February of last year. Then as we got further into the paperwork and things changed in Ethiopia, each month that hope became less and less possible. Suddenly, I didn't know what to think. It seemed like the day where we get to bring our baby home was getting further away! Which, as you can image, is the opposite of what I wanted to be feeling. This is where the emptiness began to set in. As the time length grew, the amount of excitement dwindled. Blog posting died down. People stopped asking questions.

It's that emptiness that is the hardest part. I sit here each day knowing that my third child is out there, and I want to jump through the ceiling with excitement. But, I don't know when that is going to be. The silver lining from all of this... people still do ask. Or, my mom comes out and sympathizes with us. Or, a friend sends a note and a donation. So, the point of all of this. If you feel like you have a question, or you just want to chat about what we are going through, please call or shoot an e-mail. It helps us build that excitement through this time of "emptiness." I know that I need it... And I'm sure the Mrs. does too!

__

Oh and PS!
We are at number 44 on the list.. and did you notice our Donation Tracker! $4406! As a math guy, I thought that was a neat coincidence! :) Just $38 more for a $4444!

I can't take the silence any longer!

Okay. I just can't take it any longer. The Mister said he was going to blog. And now. It's been. Almost. 10. days. Seriously! I know, I am sure no one is sitting here waiting for an update ... but I have been ;)

Since the last update, I've had multiple emails with at least 5 {new & 'old'} adoption buddies, mamas & confidantes. And boy have I needed it. It's like I would hear from them at just the right moment. Hmmmm ... I wonder if that was intentional.

I keep bumping into these random writings, thoughts & musings on things coming in their own time and letting go, trusting because things happen when you need it and words about puzzle pieces fitting together. I'm hoping that's the foreshadowing I've never dreamed of! ;)

We are currently "about number 44" on the wait list. And our CW has been so encouraging about that (it is wonderful to have her support - I hope everyone has a CW that they feel connected too & they feel is 'on their team' - I can't imagine it any other way). I'm going to say we'll have more news in about 2-3 weeks. I'm not going to say "exciting" news, because I don't know that ... but ... we'll at least have another update.

We've made additional passport photo copies. (Don't ask. But there had to be multiples of multiples.) Check. Check. AND I have a friend of a friend who received a referral this week! And another in-town family just got their new numbers (they are with a different agency) & have saddled on up to #5! *rubbing elbows* ;)

I was also reminded of something I wanted to share from another blog (Jason & Emmy - who are using our agency ((WACAP)) and are slightly ahead of us on the wait list - so who knows, we might meet in travel!):

WACAPs Values for Adoption Process

Ethics in adoption are an issue that we take extremely seriously. We:

1. Believe that adoption is a last resort and that children should remain in their birth families if possible.

2. Only work with orphanages who work directly with the Ethiopian government for the approval of children in need.

3. Only work with orphanages who have proven records of attempts at family preservation (keeping the child with their family through sponsorship, medical aid and other support).

4. Do not pay staff or partners salaries, fees or bonuses on a “per child” basis.

5. Provide a good deal of humanitarian aid that focuses on ways to prevent the overwhelming need for adoption (sponsorship, kinship programs, apprenticeship programs, medical aid).

Usually things around here have been fairly light & fun, but as changes continue in Ethiopia, I felt like these core values were important to share, more for those who may be considering adoption or wondering 'how do you choose an agency to work with'. Well, this is a good place to start.

Okay ... back to your regularly scheduled programming & the blogger who usually runs things around this place ;) shhhhh don't tell him I cut in line!